ABOUT THIS BLOG & MY STORY

    Hi Beautiful Friend!

    I've weathered the terrain of my teens and twenties and hope to share with you my successes as well as my lessons of humility. I'm now 35, haven't dated in over 15 years, but through God's grace, I've led an incredibly adventurous, destiny-fulfilling, romantic, and blessed life. What wait? Did she just say romantic? But hasn't dated in 14 years??

     I know, I know--it sounds so bizarre. But I've led quite the romantic life while being single and dateless.

     Romantic in the sense that I've been able to enjoy great guy friendships where I was honored and loved (platonically) and greater than that--I've had the romance of God in my life.  His pursuit of us constantly amazes me. So yes, I LOVE romance, and just because you're single doesn't mean you don't get to experience it in your life.

     Meanwhile, the journey has been interesting...okay, let's be real, it's been ugly-cry bad at times, but God's kindness has covered me, and I have not grown bitter or weary in the waiting of my own romance story, but have been filled with hope to believe for it. But I must warn you, I often get more excited about the love journey of others than I do my own!

     So here I am. Standing in a place of vulnerability for both you and I. I want us to make it to the very end--to finish well, and to know love like we've never known it before. #keeponbelievingevenifitbreaksyourheart

     My heart is to continually encourage others and believe for the impossible.

     I invite you to journey with me, as I prepare for romance, face challenges and defeats, choose purposefully to love God and expect an array of triumphs, while enjoying every moment of this blessed and crazy life.


     "You're never alone." - God


Love,
Patrice



     (I also love praying for people; and if one of my stories connects with you in a meaningful way or speaks to your journey, feel free to let me know! I'd love to include you in my prayers!)

     You can send prayer requests to: puerilityvol1@gmail.com

 
P.S. "Puerility" means: The state or quality of being a child

Often "Puerility" and "Puerile" have negative connotations, much like singleness. But I saw this word in a positive light, a journey that all of us are on--growing into beautiful maturity, but with the eyes of a child who believes that good things still happen, and it's okay to be silly, to cry, to laugh, and to have a good sense of humor along the way.

credit: dictionary.com



The Persona. The Person.

     



     "Or you can take this one..." he gently said.

     "No. That's okay. How about this smaller neon orange one. I always love being an odd ball and making a statement." I say with a cheeky smile.

     He looks a little befuddled.

     "Okay. Whatever you want. It's no problem. Whatever you want. But this one is brand new."

     I look at him suspiciously.

     I walk around the lot for a bit.

     Decisions, decisions, decisions.

     And here I was, I didn't even recognize he was trying to give me an upgrade.

     And there you have it. This is how the pieces have felt like in this season. Not being able to outrightly recognize most of the good and the just things happening around me.

     Circumstances have been weird.

     I met someone.


     Okay. I didn't "meet" someone.

     But my friend did. I just happened to be there for the important part.

     They briefly knew of each other, connected online and decided to finally make a date of it.

     But let's talk about the space between the persona and the person.

     We're all guilty of it.

     In fact, I'm in love with someone's online persona as we speak.

     But I'm more aware now then ever, that a persona is not a person.

     The way in which we fill in the blanks about a human being are quite fascinating. Especially in this day and age of social media.

     We present our best selves.

     Those moments in which we feel exhilarated, loved, or passionate are then displayed on our numerous pages, news feeds, and profiles, leaving the poor reader to naturally piece together a beautiful symphony of sorts, when in fact our true lives sound more like Morse code. A different melody altogether.

     I'm also convinced more than ever, that face to face human contact and connection can never be replaced or substituted by our profiles, texts, emails, virtual chats, and other technological advances (ironically) meant to connect us and to provide a way of "knowing".

     These tools have now become swords of sorts and seem to inhibit the very thing they were meant to foster.

     So my friend adored and celebrated his persona.

     But the person she met left no space for such a persona. He in fact was lovely. But just not "that kind of lovely"--you know, not "persona lovely."

     And as such, a conflict then played out.

     What you think you're getting. You're not.

     The outer didn't match the inner.

+++

     I do this weird thing.

     When I look at fashion magazines, I always try to imagine what the voice of that particular model (male or female) would sound like. And you know what. I'm wrong EVERY TIME.

     Their voice never ends up sounding the way I think it "should" sound. Or how I thing it "would" sound. I like to call this the "David Beckham Phenomena".




     When I first saw David years and years ago on a soccer print ad. I immediately thought I knew what his voice would sound like...Like most of you thought...

     And then, when you hear him talk, it's almost a bit jarring.

     You're like..."Um, I'm sorry, what................? But you still FINE though."

     But now, funny enough, I've come to love David's ironic voice of sorts.

     And I think that's how it goes.

     The unfolding of our true selves will either connect us to those people that we are meant to be connected with or repel them.

     Not everyone will "get us", "love us", or even "like us" and that's okay.

     But if we never unravel the persona of ourselves first, we will be presenting people with a false promise of which they will expect you to tap dance out every time you're in their company.

     And you'll be living out a dead-end masquerade ball of sorts--a nonstop cycle of feeling exhausted, confused, and resentful--with an added dash of a fear of committing to people, places, and callings.

     So let the persona go.

     Get undressed and let the real you, the real person be seen and known--in all its ugly, its terrific, its beautiful...and in all its splendor.


+++

     I'm more suspicious these days.

     What you see is not always what you get.

     But I took a risk out there on that car rental lot. And the luxury car he suggested I go for, I ended up saying yes to.

     It all felt a little strange.

     I never go for first class. Second best has always been good enough for me. I wouldn't normally say that out loud, so I've written it down instead.

     "Am I being charged extra for this nicer car?" I say with my eyes almost closed to anticipate the damage.

     "No. No. Of course not. I wanted to give it to you with no extra charge....

     ...Because I liked your name..."






Wisdom's Knocking:

"At your absolute best, you still won't be good enough for the wrong person.

At your worst, you'll still be worth it to the right person."

- Kimberly Jones-Pothier





Our Wild Ways



Last week, I headed back to my hometown for a reunion of sorts.

A reunion with my former self, before I fully became something new.

So we played. Took pictures. And talked about being tourists in my hometown.

To be a pioneer, one mustn't be tame.

No.

In fact, one must be a tad bit wild.


----

Photography by: Elias Galarza // Patrice Patrick










































Open Season

     


     I once wrote an open love letter to my future husband.

     I know. Not a surprise.

     But don't throw too much shade, you know you're just as much of a romantic as I am.

     With that said, next month, I'm going to travel across the country to support one of my besties in the beginning of what I believe will be her very own unique and extraordinary love story unfolding.

     The atmosphere is pregnant with promises about to be fulfilled.

     And honestly, I'm getting so much of my life, vicariously living through her--and the way in which this man-person is intentionally pursuing her.

     The wait has been so long.

     But now the fruit is actually ripe.

     This is an open season of discovery.

     For not only her, but for you and I as well.

     Somehow, I feel as though I'm starting afresh.

     I feel as though new hope has arrived in my heart. Finally. And once again.

     And not merely in part because of time passing, but the reality and richness of love in my life as it stands now.

     An odd thing has been happening these last few weeks.

     Three separate people have dreamed about me---

     Okay. Let's stop there.

     Wait. What?

      But true story. These 3 people (1 of whom the other 2 do not even know...) on separate occasions told me of the unique dreams that they had of me over the course of the last few weeks.

     I was a bit blown away. And feeling incredibly loved.

     Most of you know, I'm a big time dreamer. #punintened

     Yes, in the big scheme of things type of way, but also in the night-time type of way.

     You know, that weird and wacky "dreaming-of-things-before-they-happen" sort of way. This has been happening to me since I was about 5 years old. But we can talk more about that later...

     So these 3 dreams that 3 separate people had of me, were basically complimentary repetitions of one another. With themes such as love, marriage, ministry, career, and more love...

     But what was more incredible to me, is that their dreams weren't off base or somehow a surprise to me. But in fact, their individual dreams brought specific confirmation to what I had already known and felt God was whispering to my own soul at the beginning of this year.

     And so goes my life....the reality and richness of love in my life as it stands now, shakes me out of the ever-so attractive apathy of our day and our culture and our often sterile religious ways of doing things.

     I'm forced to pay attention.

     Almost always.

     Thus the tedious work of writing.


Video Link: Josef Salvat, "Open Season": 


     And while walking with my beautiful friend alongside the spectacular and terrifying road of romance, I'm being reminded that God can cause a "suddenly" to happen in our lives at any moment.

     A suddenly that ushers in the very substance of what our hearts have been wanting and waiting for, but a heart that needed time to understand and appreciate the intricacies of such a divine miracle.

     Eyes are being opened.

     Hearts are getting free.

     The month of March is going to be amazing.



     It's Open Season, and anything can happen...



Wisdom's Knocking:

"We used to have it all planned.
We thought we knew what it all looked like.
We were looking out on the greatest view.
We were raised to take a stand.
We were raised to keep an open mind.
We believed we'd just sail on through.

Now I'm a hundred miles an hour,
Sitting in my palace without any power,
Alone in the dark,
We're alone in the dark
Thought we could always try a bit harder,
But if the dice don't wanna roll in your favor
It falls apart, the fantasy falls apart

This is open season,
Time is up, time to be leaving,
Head on down this very arbitrary road
Armor up, and say your prayers,
From under dogs and millionaires,
I heard you're better off on your own,
But I ain't gonna face this hunt alone


So I'll be needing you
And I know you'll be needing me too
We're in this game together
We're in this game together
And I believe in you
And I know you believe in me too,
We're in this game together
We're in this game together"









We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off

    


      I'm learning quite a bit about intimacy in this stage and season of my life.

     There is such beauty to be had in a kiss, in an embrace, in a cuddle--and yet, I haven't partaken in these acts in over a decade.

     But more so than the physicality of things and moments, my heart and my body are yearning to be known, and to share those victories and defeats with a witness and a companion.

     The reality of these last two months have shown me that I am not only a survivor, but I can learn to thrive in the midst of tension and impossibilities.

     The verdict is in. In all actuality I was indeed stood up last month. I learned that our mystery guy had been in town once again, but failed to reach out to me. And this time it didn't appear to be an accident.

     Thus, I've not heard a word from the man that offered with such calm kindness and expectancy, to take me out--to meet my heart half way and to explore my journey alongside his.

     Instead, he's chosen to be purposefully silent.

     And once again I had space to weep.

     But he made space.

     Oddly enough, the week he and I were suppose to meet, I had a mentor of mine pray with me. She knew nothing of my tentative date plans, but all of a sudden, she started praying for my love life, my future boo, my husband-to-be. And she went to town.

     But her prayer started to take on a different direction. She prayed against anything that would hinder God's true love story in my life.

     At the time, I thought she may have been specifically praying about me and Mystery Man--about the hindrances that we were encountering trying to lock down our date plans, but it turns out, she may have been praying protection against Mystery Man and I getting together in the first place.

     Perhaps space needed to be made.

     I was ready to bare my soul. To be intimate in the ways that don't involve the shedding of clothes, but rather the connecting of souls, of minds, of hearts---and of callings.

     But then I was halted.

     I was forced to make space.

     And positioned to reevaluate.

     Who am I? And what do I really want?

     I know, I know.

     These questions are the deep ones. The ones we don't always like revisiting. Because, you see, we have to sit with the Truth.

     And often Truth tells us those things we are afraid of--or those things we've been trying not to hear for years and years.

     But space had been given to me, and I had to face the Truth.

     I came across someone online months ago that invigorated and gave life to the Truth in me. It wasn't his mere physicality that drew me in, but it was his heart. To hear someone talk about Truth, love, legacy, and the fight, in the same language that I have all these years, scared the crap out of me.

     He was a blatant reminder of what my heart knows it was made for.

     Now before you get giggly or try to do a search on my Instagram or my blog for this person. Let me help you out.

     He was and is the reminder.

     Beyond that....merely an acquaintance. Not yet even a friend. And that's okay.

     Because he is free.

     He is free from trying to be captured by my manipulative tendencies, my needing-to-be-stroked ego. My dormant yet eruptive insecurities.

     He is free to walk into his own love story. He is free to choose.

     And how lovely it is to choose.

     How powerful it is to choose. Even when you don't know the full outcome.

     And yes,  I am a champion for his love story.

     Even and especially if it by no way involves me.

     But if for some strange reason, he is actually reading this, and I have a feeling he is.

     This is for you:

     I see your heart and it is beautiful.

     I see your hidden pain and the past struggle. And it is beautiful.

     The hope that your heart carried when you were a young boy regarding love, marriage, and family has not been in vain.

     And regardless of how your journey has gone or not gone, it has been beautiful.

     You deserve both hands holding your face ever so gently. A safe haven for your tears.

     Because you have cried and you've wanted to cry some more. And that too has been beautiful.

     It is in your vulnerability that your strength truly lies.

     It is not your strength that I'm after, but your subtleties that I admire and want to honor.

     Thank you for being the reminder. And the exception.

     Because in this journey and in this fight, we all must be reminded what we are truly fighting for.

     It has been your brave heart, your integrity, and your pursuit of God's heart through it all, that has stood as Truth to me and my heart.



Video: Ella Eyre - "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off"
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     And as I walk once again into the direction of the unknown towards my own Field of Dreams, I am learning the ways of intimacy, especially as it pertains to how my heart was made and what God has truly made it for.

     Take time to listen to your heart today--and the risks it wants to take and the dreams it dreams up.

     Let's be brave. More brave than we've ever been. Especially in the realm of love and life callings.

     You have not been completely defeated. No--not yet.

     Some of you are just starting a brand new relationship. Others are still waiting in the wings.

     But regardless of your current status, you were made to know and be known.  Just as you are.

     You were made for real and true intimacy, and that's not taboo and that's not a crime.

     In fact, true intimacy is meant to be the place where our life and love flourishes in and through us--Spurring us on--fueling energy into every part of our ever expanding lives.

     Even more so, this type of intimacy is not for a far off time in your life, like during a mid-life crisis or your deathbed. But alas, you can experience this intimacy even now, right where you stand.

     Because you see, we don't always "have to take our clothes off to have a good time" or wait to experience a moment of sheer truth, childlike joy and freedom--


     Often--we just have to be willing to let our own walls down...




Wisdom's Knocking:

“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me.
Make yourselves at home in my love.
If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love.
That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love."

- Jesus
(John 15:9-10 - The Message)