I'd like to think that this is the prequel to "Bang, Bang, Boom":
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I think I know what I’m getting into. But not really. Believing that I can absolutely change the outcome of my life, by doing the exact opposite of what I’m wanting to accomplish.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Noooo.
I foresee bumps in the road. Moments where I want to back out of my commitment to remain single minded and focused. When throwing in the towel, will seem like the most sensible thing to do.
But what do I do then?
I hope I’m reminded of what I’m fighting for.
And what if I’m not.
So many get so close to a finish line, only to back out of the race.
Call it fear or a leg cramp.
We’ll just call it the “Pain of Sacrifice”.
But then I remember my dream.
You know, the “Literal” dream I had over a year ago, that pretty much threw a monkey wrench in my romance plans. It was the type of dream that inspires you and haunts you for the rest of your life--Causing you to never settle for less then what you once had a preview of.
“But what if this sacrifice is not unto what I think it’s unto?”—A constant quote from my mind.
Perhaps its unto something much more beautiful?
And how much smooth sailing will I actually encounter along the way?...I almost want to bust out laughing for even asking that question. I mean, really? “Smooth Sailing”?? For some reason, every miracle that has been handed to me or happened to me has involved me feeling like I’m being pushed through a birthing canal or this miracle has appeared at the very, very, very, VERY last minute.
But in both cases, before those miracles had occurred, I had gotten to the place of letting go completely. I simply trusted and believed God. There was nothing left for me to do.
So as I think about the year ahead, I’m certain of only a 2 things:
1. I’m pretty sure I’m going to embarrass myself more than once this year. And as always, I’ll tell you in as many details as I can without incriminating others without their permission.
2. I’m almost certain that I will not be the same version of who I am today.
And beyond that, the rest is unknown.
In all honesty, I’m scared of what 2013 really holds for me. And perhaps that’s a good thing.
The beauty towards sacrifice. The beauty in sacrifice. The Beauty of Sacrifice.
Wisdom’s Knocking:
"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine,
I keep my eyes wide open all the time,
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds,
Because you're mine, I walk the line."
-Johnny Cash