Growing up, I've always been the girl to rock jeans, a t-shirt and a fresh pair of hard to find kicks. Any sort of rugged urban street wear, I'd love to wear it. I look back at my junior high and high school pictures, and I was about that flannel and jean life. I wasn't trying to make any sort of statement at the time, but in retrospect I see, that quite the proclamation was being made.
There's something to be said about puberty, and how awkward your own body appears to you in the mirror during that stage of life. Much of our teen years and early 20s are more about hiding our insecure body parts, rather than celebrating them with a fashionable expression.
Now, it wasn't like I only owned sneakers, flannels, and t-shirts. I had a couple of dresses, skirts, and the like, but not many articles of clothing that screamed femininity.
Nevertheless, I was an eclectic teenager to say the least. I definitely marched to the beat of my own drum regarding fashion in my early years, and honestly, I think I still do now.
But I realize in many ways, while growing up, I was afraid to embrace my true femininity.
I think I was afraid of the vulnerability that comes along with such power. Being afraid of my femininity, my hips, my shape, my legs, my arms, my emotions--and not just fearful of exposing them, but truly embracing them all as beautiful.
I feared my femininity in full bloom.
In the undercurrent of my thoughts, I somehow felt that if I gave in completely and wholly to my femininity I would be taken advantage of somehow. I had seen it and heard it happen to so many beautiful and feminine girls.
And I thought, remaining powerful, meant remaining feminine-less. Oh, that's not a word? That's okay. Let's just keep going.
And somehow I equated femininity with weakness. Much like people mistake kindness and gentleness for weakness. #Dontsleep
Never considering the other factors these young girls and women struggled with regarding bad habits, bad choices, unhealthy lifestyles, lack of personal boundaries with people, or them just simply encountering mean, controlling folks, etc.
With this understanding that came much later, I began to see the struggle to live a powerful life wasn't birthed from their femininity alone, but rather their identity as a whole and the resilience or lack thereof that they were intentional about walking in.
Needless to say, it wasn't until my later 20s that I begin to settle into the beauty and power of my own femininity.
One of my best friends is a fashion stylist and she affectionately calls my style: "Boho Woo{dsy} Chic"
Yes, I still love my flannels, jeans, and sneakers, but my love for all things flowy, bohemian, and eclectic has now taken root in my everyday perspective.
As a woman in waiting it's become more and more exciting to see the ways in which I continue to mature, grow, and blossom into the very someone I love becoming.
Being adventurous doesn't always mean traveling half way around the world or jumping out of an airplane. Sometimes being adventurous is simply embracing the hidden and often neglected facets of who God truly created you to be.
Becoming who you are--that is truly adventurous.
Wisdom's Knocking:
“I want to help you to grow as beautiful as God meant you to be
when He thought of you first.”
- George MacDonald
when He thought of you first.”
- George MacDonald