When Smart Girls Act Dumb

     Photographer: Ashley Johnson

     We've all seen it. Perhaps you've been the culprit. But it always astounds me how a grown woman can miss such important social cues. Meaning, if a man doesn't show you respect, honor, and kindness upon a first impression, chances are that man does not see your value and does not want to invest in you.

     You may be the type to extend grace beyond a first impression. And I tip my hat to you. But if the man repeatedly shows you disrespect, you've clearly let him know how you really think of yourself: Cheap and of no worth.

     Therefore, the man in his great immaturity and pride will allow you to be degraded and hurt, with him feeling no remorse, because you have come into a silent agreement with him that you are not worth being truly treasured and appreciated.

     And don't think I've forgotten those lovely men who at first impression seem every bit as gentle and loving, only to show themselves as monsters a few months later. The same notion of getting smart applies here. Unless the man is willing to sincerely change, don't get caught in a dumb cycle of a trap.

     But I implore you, oh my smart sisters. Don't be the girl that has to have a man on her arm to feel complete. And don't loose yourself to the misplaced identity of another. You'll soon learn to regret it.

     If you lack an understanding of your worth, chances are someone will either want to define it for you in either good or bad ways.

     With that said, get to know who you are first. Understand that you are beautiful, worthy, smart, desirable, and funny. Yes. You were and are all these things, even before Joe Schmoe came up and told you you were. But with the knowledge of your worth and true beauty, you'll be able to appreciate his observations with true humility and love, instead of feeding off of his words like crack cocaine, as if his words were your defining life source.

     And if we want to get a little deep here, begin to understand some of your actions and motives. Like why you do some of the things you do. Yes, you are a worthy catch, but believe me, you are far from perfect (I'm preaching to myself as well).

     With all that said, I implore you my sisters. Be smart. So if someone spits a dumb line at you, you won't fall for it hook, line, and sinker--

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Ain't it strange the way we're ignorant 
How we seek out bad advice 
How we jigger it and figure it 
Mistaking value for the price
And play a game with time and love 
Like pair of rolling dice..." 

-- "So Beautiful, So What", by Paul Simon