the lord is testing me

Boy-friends, Girl-friends

     

     It's the most wonderful time of the year.

     But yet, it's also the time of the year when many people feel themselves falling into a tunnel of depression.

     You thought Valentine's Day hurt your heart? Try the constant reminder of love and magic all around you in the shape of snowflakes, peppermint mochas, and fireplaces. I mean, this all just screams romance to me, especially as a single person. Maybe I'm the only one. But this beautiful holiday season begs to be shared with the ones you love. Yes, family. The tried and true--whom in most cases will never leave you. But often times we are reaching for that other person. A romantic figure to set sail with to Paris, Denmark, Africa, Brazil, or New Zealand. Your choice.

     Nevertheless, you and I might be tempted to simply grab any John or Jane nearby. Or we might try and latch on to one of our trusted guy friends or lady friends as a quick fix and substitute for a substantial and meaningful romance, when you know in your gut it ain't gonna really last. You can't explain why you know this, but you just do.

     But certain men folk are looking too holiday cuddly to me. Yes. I said it. "Holiday Cuddly".  And I find myself wanting to throw caution to the wind.

     I know some of you just cheered right now. And the other half of you just cringed. I'm more on the cringing side when it comes to such lofty ideas. Or least in this particular scenario. There are certain things I know in my gut. You know what I'm talking about. That thing that tells you, "Please don't do this, you'll regret it later..." Some of you sense that, but choose to ignore it anyway. But I get urked if I try and live in that place of "I know better than this, but I'm gonna do stupid stuff anyway" for too long. I used to be able to live in that place for a majority of the year...then it became a few months....and then a few weeks, until now--Of which I can maybe pull it off for a few days and then I find myself weeping miserably.

     Remember my past blog post, "Mixed Signals = No Signal"? Let's also just remind ourselves how much more confusing and awkward we can make this holiday season by mixing in premature or selfish ambition towards someone who is close to us, but may not be on the same page with us romantically speaking. And I'm talking about those girl-boy friendships that have been established as such. Just friendship with a DTR (Define the Relationship), included. And ladies you know how I feel about girls trying to make the first move. DON'T.

     Yes, of course you can manipulate all the live long day in those girl-guy friendships to make them your holiday romantic filler. But at the end of the day, you'll have to work even harder to keep your sanity and the relationship. Which in the end, after the lust is gone, may not  have been worth it to begin with anyway.

     So today, I'm reminding myself of the things my heart truly wants. Not just what my body wants.




Wisdom's Knocking:

It's important to remind yourself of what your heart truly wants...for the long run.