There’s been so many reasons as of late to be afraid.
Of the world, getting older, time passing too quickly, time not passing fast enough, cruel people, and everything and everyone constantly being in a state of change.
I’ve written about three blog posts to you, that I couldn’t quite finish…
I was angry. And impatient.
And those two combinations never quite work well for a writer. A craft that constantly proves to be a labor of love, and in many ways my saving grace.
But I used to be afraid of hard conversations.
And it seems that in this season of my life, all I do is have hard conversations.
Those conversations that cause your throat to tense up just enough to confirm to the rest of your body that you hate this moment.
Hard conversations with loved ones, with friends, with co-workers, and sometimes even with strangers.
In the end, we all just want to be understood.
Which makes these hard conversations all the worse. Because hard conversations begin with the preface that neither is understood by the other, and the battle to find common ground begins.
But I’m determined to find the common ground.
That place where you and I can meet.
And not just meet, but see.
And not just see, but learn.
And not just learn, but understand.
It’s been quite the test to not live in a land of theories only, but to let the truth and beauty of hard conversations exist, but to allow my heart to remain soft, engaged, and open.
To not run away, to not be afraid.
There’s something beautiful and brave to be gained in this place.
And as I glance over my shoulder, looking back at the woman I used to be, I softly turn my head forward to embrace the woman I am becoming.
It feels good…to not be afraid.
And I feel hopeful…in learning that love is strong, love is consistent, and love will find its way to you, even in the bleakest of moments and places.
Because you and I were made for mountaintops.
And we learn to reach those mountaintops, often by a steep and arduous climb. Yes, those things that scare the crap out of us, but in the end--are the making of us.
And yes, I feel myself being made in this season of my life.
Things are changing.
And undoubtedly, the view looks so much different from here.
Wisdom’s Knocking:
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
-Louisa May Alcott (“Little Women”)