The Wilderness

     No one quite has the language to tell you how grief will play out for you individually. I mean, yes, there are the key stages:

• Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance

     But I’m almost positive it’s not a linear journey. 

     Because in the first days after my father died, I’m pretty sure I went through all 5 stages out of order, and then decided to repeat them all just a month later.

     Things feel dry, sometimes, not completely breathable.

     And then, things feel good—dare I say…normal in some sort of way, and then….and then comes Christmas commercials showing a military mother or father walkingthrough their home door, to surprise the kids and spouse on Christmas day.

     OVER AND OUT.

     I’m undone.

     Or you find your dad’s old Bible.

     Or old notes he wrote.

     And then you want to feel sad.

     But you also want to embrace the moment of the now with the loved ones still near and close by.

     But there’s tension. And I just want to punch walls and L.A. drivers in the neck….

     But I know anger is not the real issue.

     Anger is the symptom of something greater.

     Because somehow anger still gives you a false illusion of control. False being the key word here.

     Often it’s our pride that trips us up in the middle of our grief. Either we are too afraid to cry, too afraid to feel, too afraid to….anything else but deal.

     And the only 2 ways I know to combat anger is prayer and gratitude…even if I’m grumbling.

     And so I pause.

     I pause.

     And I simply ask, “Holy Spirit, what’s really going on with me? What’s at the root of my current behavior? I’m open for you to show me…”

     And it’s usually shown to me, throughout the course of the day, through the interactions I have with real live, flesh and blood people.

     And later on in the day, I think, “Wow, how blessed am I…”

     To feel and to taste pain, defeat, and loss, is a part of our human journey, and it’s part of a larger story the Lord redeems in ways so extravagant that we cannot even imagine the fullness of those possibilities in the here and now.

     I know this season can be tender for so many of us.

     But in the midst of the icy cold night, I want you to do something for me. I want you to go outside, and I want you to look up.

     I want you to physically tilt your head up and leave it tilted up for at least 15 seconds. Until you can count at least 10 stars above your head.

     And in that uncomfortably frigid air, take a beat to thank God that you can witness such a brazen miracle.

     The past and present being witnessed by the phenomenon that is your vision.

     As you know, a star, by the means in which we see them, is gone and perhaps often dead in the way that it existed thousands upon thousands of years ago, while its light still somehow travels to your sky and to your eyes in a very present moment.

     Breathtaking.

     And yes, it’s still cold outside.

     But my goodness, the stars sure do shine so brightly.

     As if on cue, to remind us…

     Yes, there may be a wilderness around us, but we are not left alone to our own devices.

     And if I remember correctly, after the wilderness does come the promised land.

     So keep looking up sweet children, keep looking up…

Wisdom’s Knocking:

 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

--Hebrews 12:1

The Press & Surrender

     Sometimes we accept defeat too soon.

     There needs to be a push back.

     But sometimes, we just feel too nice. We feel that we would step on toes, but instead, we forget we may be liberating someone, something, and a cause.

     And sometimes we just feel choked out. We feel as though we just can’t breathe.

     It’s all become too much.

     These are the stories around us, and these are the stories of us.

     I’ve watched the wave of the grand Overwhelm drench over the faces of the meek and the mild. Of the faces of those that I love.

     And I begin to rise up.

     A fierceness in me begins to grab hold and I demand truth, I demand justice, I demand the better ending of the story.

     You are not shallow. You were made for the deep.

     Take off your masks and dance with me.

     Someone leads, and someone must follow. Or there’s no dance.

     Rather there’s no common purpose found on the dance floor.

     With that type of unity must come a surrender and a press.

     A seeming paradox.

     There’s a direction as to where we are moving and cascading across a dance floor.

     It’s not longer solely about where I want to go, but where he leads and in turn, where we are able to go together.

     There’s a surrender and a press.

     I have to be present in my own body. I have to hold the agency of my own body up. I have to respond as an individual to the leading. He cannot do that for me.

     So in many ways, I am called to rise up in the midst of this submission.

     Another paradox.

     Great force is not needed for me to feel that my dance partner wants to subtly turn right instead of left.

     And true, I don’t always catch the small gestures. But now, after a great deal of practice, I usually do. It also helps to dance with the same partner over and over again. A beautiful short hand emerges and it all becomes quite dreamy and magical.

     Most of you know, I love dancing, in all of its forms. I’ve danced freely since I was about 4 years old. And now, in my thirties I’ve migrated to the form of dance I was most afraid of doing growing up: partner dancing.

     I just didn’t understand it.

     Like how do two people go in the same direction simultaneously without talking about it first? I mean, how??

     I knew it looked magical. But like most, didn’t quite understand how the mechanics could turn into something transcendent.

     And yet, it does.

     The press and the surrender.

     And a little-favorite-something I like to call muscle memory.

     And you know what--- that’s exactly how I want my spirit to be.

     To easily recall a memory of home, of God, that fills my senses with the truth of love, justice, and mercy, unmuddied by the culture of our day.

     That my soul would choose love over fear in every circumstance.

     That I would rise to fight for the weak and brokenhearted.

     And that I would be true salt and light during my time here on this earth.

     In spite of our circumstances and the bleakness of our current world,

     It’s always been time for us to choose faith, to choose joy, to choose hope, and to choose love.

     You and I are not defeated.

     Nor shall we ever be, as long as we are on the side of Christ.

     Not merely my romantic words to you, but His words of promise to us.

     So press on my dear friends, for the song has not ended and the dance is surely not over just yet.

Wisdom’s Knocking:

 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.

But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

- John 16:3

Gentle

     “He walked gently…even when he was young boy. He was just…………………… so special...”

     Her voice somehow lost in the air.  And then she got choked up.  I only heard the breeze of the light wind around us. She had to turn her face away from mine. I stared at her’s with compassionate intention.

     She was talking about my dad.

     Before Texas, there was Florida.

     I thought Texas was going to be a defining trip for me, but instead it was Florida. 

     We had another memorial service for my dad in Florida last month. A service for all his Florida family, friends, and classmates to attend—yes, his classmates.

     My dad had stayed friends with most of his childhood friends from elementary school, even after his family had picked up and moved to Southern California before his senior year of high school. My dad would remain connected. 

     The way in which my dad’s old classmates and friends would talk about him, was as if he was a daily force of kindness and encouragement to them— in ways that were just so powerful and personal, even after his departure from Florida.

     Imagine, more than 50 years after leaving elementary and high school, and your classmates weeping because of your loss.  What an impression to leave on people’s hearts. 

     I wasn’t prepared to hear how loved my dad was, even thousands of miles away from my home. 

     But it was exactly what my heart needed. 

     When she spoke about my dad, it finally clicked for my heart.  The specific way in which God had shed His love over my entire life thus far: “Gentleness”

     It was His way of guiding me and loving me and protecting me. 

     “And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, ” – Exodus 34:6

      “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” - Romans 2:4

     God knew what my wild heart would be like growing up. And trust me, I was bold and outspoken even then. 

     But my wild heart was tempered with a kind of gentleness that can only be authentically lived with, wrapping you up like a warm blanket on Christmas morning. Even in the midst of my resistance…

     My dad was a walking interpretation of gentleness.

     Doesn’t mean he never got angry, and it sure doesn’t mean he was perfect.

     But he was by far the most consistent and gentle man I’ve ever known in my entire life. 

     And when she said those words, amid the sturdy trees blowing in the wind, I realized for the first time in my life, that I had a gaping hole -- a gaping hole of gentleness (especially masculine gentleness) being active and embracing my life.

     Who would randomly call me during the week to say that they loved me? Or to simply “hear my voice”.

     Who would call me a “Jive Turkey” and “My Baby” in the same sentence?

     Who would whisper to me, “Do you need any gas money?”

     Or give this perpetual single girl her Valentine’s day card with a gift inside?

     Who would I talk to about NASA, space, and future technologies because he was a man that actually worked alongside scientists in his earlier years. 

     Who would now be my gentle champion in the flesh?

     And yes, all these questions made make me cry my eyes out.

     Even as I type this, I have actual snot bubbles coming out of my nose.

     But I need you to see how beautiful this all is.

     Number one. I’d rather feel than be numb.

     And number two. It’s in the struggle and in the pain that the real growth occurs, and I refuse to avoid this part.

     I left Florida feeling full and vulnerable. 

     I had spent a full weekend with 2 widows (one being my mother) and a fiery female minister. And it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in 2016. 

      I learned. I’m learning. And I’m listening.

     These women had such a sense of joy, even in the midst of grieving.  A sense of unquenchable life, even in the midst of death. Point blank: Jesus.

     All these women have an active relationship with God. Not in the, I just go to church occasionally type of way, but in the, “I talk to Him daily” type of way.  (Gimme dat life!)

     I used to tell my youth group, “Just because you walk into a garage, doesn’t make you a car. And just because you go to church, doesn’t make you a Christian.” 

     The truth is, being a Christian is an active, daily relationship with God. Where He not only becomes your best friend and heavenly Father, but Lord. Yeah, I never used to like that bit either, because that basically meant I was giving Him ultimate say-so in my life.

     But I would later find out, that my life was far richer and better when He was Lord over my life, rather than myself …with my limited view of things.

     But yo. being a Christian does not, let me repeat, does not mean your life will be all cupcakes. In fact, you’ll have to learn to fight, to be brave, to be courageous, to surrender, to trust, and of course to love like never before. But you’ll have a deep-seated peace that no one and nothing can take away from you.

     I’ll let you in on my secret:

     2 Things that have defined my relationship with God: 1. The Bible  2. God's Presence. 

     If you ever have a problem finding true North (because believe, there will be a lot of things trying to present themselves as the pathway throughout your life…), start reading the book of John in the Bible. And ask God to give you eyes to see and ears to truly hear what He want’s to speak to you in that particular season of your life.

     And secondly, start playing some worship music in your car occasionally. Talk about experiencing the presence of God! I could give you a TON of music recommendations across different genres (gospel, soft rockish, pop, etc.), but today, I’ll simply start with what I’ve listened to this past summer, the album: “Champion” by Bryan + Katie Torwalt. 

     Listen to the words—I mean, really listen to the words. Let them hit your heart. Let them become your prayers. And then if you’re really crazy, start singing along…to God. 

     And start doing it more and more and more and more.

     Because I have a feeling, that  you and I won’t make it in the days ahead, with all of life’s unforeseen challenges and surprises without knowing whole heartedly that God is with us, encouraging us, believing in us, and dreaming with us. (Plus, we tend to forget quite a bit regarding the faithfulness of God in our lives, if we aren’t engaged daily).

     You must know, 

     there’s more for you.

     There’s more for me.

     Especially in God. 

     You and I will never “arrive” or finish exploring and experiencing the richness of God while we are on earth. In fact, we are just scratching the surface. 

     Seriously though.

     Our relationship with God can go as deep as we want it to go…

     Wow. What a tangent.

     So yeah, Florida…

     It wrecked my heart in the best way.

     I got to sit in a hotel room and watch Hallmark movies with my mom, eat like a true Southerner, visit the church that is attached to my father’s legacy, and hear a woman talk about my dad walking gently.

     It put quite the perspective on the crushes that I had throughout 2016.

     Oh, you thought I wasn’t going to share my business? Who do you think I am?

     I had several crushes this year. None of which have panned out---or that would have been the first thing I would have SCREAMED to you over the internets. I AM DATING SOMEONE!!!! (I’m just practicing writing that, because why not...)

     Instead, I have a greater collection of beautiful Christian male friends. Because I need more hot Christian male friends like I need bad gas after eating macaroni and cheese.

     But alas, that has become my lot in life. Le struggle.

     But 2017, I’m looking at you:

     And I don’t feel at all bad for my single hot Christian male friends, because ya’ll know you could have married me or one of my other beautiful single friends like yesterday. But instead, we’ve all agreed on friendship, and it’s probably better this way, but it’s almost Christmas, and it’s “cuffing season” – so I’m feeling feisty and throwing things out in the atmosphere.

P.S. And to my hot Christian male friends new and old, can you at least introduce me to your other single friends if you’re not trying to date me? I mean, don’t be selfish. 

     And now with this present void of gentleness in my life, I’m trying to not act desperate (failinggg) and thirsty as the kids would say. 

     I’ve done quite a bit of traveling this year, and met many a kind soul. One man in particular caught my eye briefly, and it didn't hurt that he had an accent. He let his intentions toward me become known after a few days. And yes, he was a God-fearing man. He even threw a nice romantic gesture in my direction.

     My heart was vulnerable and open.

     I fly back home, only to discover via Facebook that he had/has a girlfriend. 

     Wow. So is this how grown-ups date in church life? You guys, I just can’t.

     Needless to say I was over it and the level of dishonesty. 

     And the lack of true gentleness in the matter.

     So here I am, back to square one. 

     Yes, I have another crush. #hejustnotthatintome

     And alas, we will become the best of buds. Because I’m fun, and I’m a good bud. And because I’ve had a great deal of practice at this whole thing…

     And yes, Texas was all kinds of beauty and awesome and pain.

     Two Engagements happened around me, while I was in Texas like one *right next to me. See the clip: HERE. 

     I mean, this is just becoming comical at this point.

     But I know you are dying to know about how my first time hearing Johnnyswim live was, while being in Texas, and visiting Magnolia Market and the “Silobration”. 

     And of course I’m gonna tell you ALL about it…in my next blog post, because this blog post has already gone too deep too fast… as per usual.  

     But I will say this about Texas.

     I met kindred hearts.

     I met gentle souls.

     And I most definitely cried. 

Wisdom’s Knocking:

“Here we go again making villains, out of lovers, lovers
Tearing down blue skies
Turning cloud nine into thunder, thunder
So complicated trying to love you with ease
Oh, we're dodging arrows that we think we see
Here we go again making villains out of lovers, lovers, lovers
Ooo, out of each other

Oh babe, we'll find a way
I want to love you everyday
I don't want to throw our love away
I don't want to fight our love away
I don't want to fight this love away

Don't you wanna be my lover?”

-- Johnnyswim

Wherever We Are, That’s Where We Are

     4 years ago.

     Four years ago I was wandering along the internets, most likely looking up romantic inspiration (wedding venues, dresses, floral, you know the stuff us single girls do….) and I somehow stumbled upon a Youtube clip that abruptly arrested my eyes and stopped my heart in its tracks.

     I watched that clip at least 10x and then researched every single clip I could find that night related to it. I made a quick and concrete point to add that to my prayer list.

     Because whatever it was they carried and sang about in those YouTube clips, resonated in my heart as true ….as authentic… as romantic…as covenant… as dreams.

     I remember telling one of my long time friends, “I want That.”

     That’s what we all were made for.

     Such freedom, delight, and a deeper sense of giving, purpose and belonging.

     I shared my admiration (read here: “obsession”) with a few close friends regarding this singing duo I had stumbled upon named, Johnnyswim.

     My friends knew, by the twinkle I had in my eye when I talked about this duo, that I meant business.

     And although I was enamored with who they were musically (truly such strong and extraordinary voices), I was that much more enthralled by how their love for one another translated in their performances--leaving me, the viewer feeling so blessed to have witnessed and shared in their love story-- if only for a few songs.

     The strength and the goal of love is to love. And these two humans seem to embody this in a way that I have rarely ever seen.

     There seemed to be something sacred about listening to these two sing together. So much so, that I didn’t want to rush into seeing them perform live. I knew in my heart it had to be the right time.

     So as they came in and out of Los Angeles, doing amazing live shows--shows that some of my friends went to, I instead held back.

     It just wasn’t the right time yet.

photo: garden and gun magazine outtake

     A year or so later, after I had discovered Johnnyswim, I was at a live music event a friend took to me to at the Hollywood Bowl.  It was meant to be a sweet and unassuming night…

     We had great seats.

     But midway through the night, as the music was playing at the Bowl, suddenly I hear a voice singing behind me.

     It was a voice that was strong and felt strangely familiar.

     I looked confused.

     I slowly started to turn my head around, trying to not draw attention to myself.

     And then I saw him.  Standing directly behind me. As a happy spectator and participant. Singing loudly to the music...

     I literally almost peed myself.

     It was Abner of Johnnyswim.

     !!!!

     Um. What the what?

     How does this even happen?

     Like—out of the thousands of people at this event and he is standing AND singing along to the songs from the stage directly behind me?!

     It would have been enough to just hear Abner….

     But yes, you guessed it.

     Amanda was there as well.

     I am screaming inside.

     SCREAMING.

     I never turn around after that. I just enjoyed the sounds of their voices --alive, bold and singing in complete freedom, as if it were a private concert just for me, for the rest of the night.

     What a special night that was for me.

     It just reminded me that magic is still in the air.

     And good things still happen.

     …When you least expect them.

     That night was 3 years ago.

    Johnnyswim would then go on to tour in Los Angeles and other cities that I frequent, but I never felt like it was quite time for me to hear them play the songs I had fallen in love with over the years.

     I felt peace in the waiting. There was still a timing component to all of this, and I somehow sensed this timing would prove to be important and significant (and perhaps magical).

     So, I happened to book a plane ticket to Texas back in early July of this year for an arbitrary date that happened to be in October…to mostly hang, and of course to re-visit Magnolia Market (My love affair with the HGTV’s television show Fixer Upper will deservedly be a separate blog all its own one day) among other places and people.

     But yes, I booked a random date to go to Texas, of which I find out a few weeks after I purchased my ticket that Magnolia Market would be having a “Silobration” – a celebration marking the new buildings, artistry, and food of Joanna & Chip Gaines’ Magnolia Market, on the exact dates that I’d be in town…That alone would have been enough for me.

     (I was actually bummed last year to not make it to the original “Silobration” –and at the time, it seemed to be a one-time only event.)

      I had missed my chance.

      Or so I had thought.

      But no I hadn’t, because they decided to bring the “Silobration” back…bigger and better than the original. Yesss Lawd.)

     And as if that weren’t enough, a couple weeks after announcing this unique “Silobration” situation, another announcement was made…. A live concert had been added to this whole beautiful extravaganza.

    A live concert featuring none other than…

     Johnnyswim.

     #DEAD

     Um. What.

     I mean. I can’t make this stuff up people.

     So clearly and undoubtedly I have a date with destiny.

     And now I feel ready.

     Now the timing feels right.

     I have no idea what to fully expect, but regardless, I plan on being as completely present as I possibly can.

     And through it all, I hope to learn more about the ways of love.

     Because I think that’s what this journey has been about all along.

     So yes, on October 7th, 2016 for the first time in 4 years, I’ll be hearing Johnnyswim perform live.

Epilogue:

     To my beautiful friends reading this-- who are actually friends of Johnnyswim, DO NOT embarrass me by trying to introduce me to them. I beg of you.

     I have zero words to say to Abner and Amanda. I’ll simply just drool on myself and make inappropriate facial expressions (#theusual).

     Instead, I just want another corner of the world to be introduced to the feeling, inspiration and, hope that I felt, that very first time (and continue to feel) in the midst of their artistry and their love shared as husband and wife.

     And I hope their voices, their music, and their lives, spark something in you, something deep…Perhaps even something buried….

{ Link: "Diamonds" - https://youtu.be/F7o9yG1mWcE }

{ Link: "Home" - https://youtu.be/APoRFLtD8z4 }

{ Link: "Hallelujah" - https://youtu.be/bxt4fmyIQKU }

{ Link: "In My Arms" - https://youtu.be/Uv3E8nkQ_zo }

{ Link: "Summer Time Romance" - https://youtu.be/06CcrnFctlo }

Wisdom’s Knocking:

“You are where you are when you’re there.”

– Chris Stapleton

Johnnyswim on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/johnnyswim/id1135465336

 Johnnyswim Website: www.johnnyswim.com

Salt of the Earth & Thunder

I need to preface this post. 

I had written this to you, back in March of this year.

Back. In. March. Of. This. Year.

I'm honestly not quite sure why I didn't give this to you back then.

It somehow got lost in the slew of other pressing matters vying for my attention. 

No. Actually. Let me not lie.

I knew that I’d needed to release this particular post at the right time. And for some reason, March didn’t feel quite right.

Which is not my usual M.O.

I’m quick to keep you abreast of my emotional on goings in real time for the most part.

But this occurrence was different.

And now, I’m ready to share.

The events that inspired this particular March blog post, marked one of thee defining moments of my 2016.

I had just watched the movie "Contact", over the weekend at my parents’ house. 

Yes. My 'parents' house. My dad was still alive then.

Oh my. It's still jarring to say that.

But I wrote this blog post, in complete gratitude and adoration towards God, in that, He would give me the kind of earthly father that He did and how kind and remarkable God is at transitioning us in our life seasons.

The movie Contact deals with matters of science and faith. #lovelovelove

And there is a remarkable bond and storyline between the protoganist and her father in this film.

I’ll never forget that night watching that movie, nor that weekend, nor the events that would soon follow in the days ahead:

---

     My world and my perspective have been turned upside down. And this all happened during our last El Nino thunderstorm.

     I literally feel as though my mind, my soul, and my heart were reset. As if something pertaining to bondage and strife from the last 7 years had been lifted off of me.  

     I have heard and seen some extraordinary thunderstorms in my lifetime. And I find them incredibly exhilarating and humbling. But what I heard at my home a few weeks ago was unlike any thunder I’ve ever heard.

     The crack and the bass within this ferocious sound caused a car alarm to fire off and the hairs on my body to stand at attention.

     Something was happening in the heavenlies.

     And I could tangibly feel that something had changed within me.

     ------ Something new has begun.

     Even just a day prior…

     And of course I was blindsided and not expecting any of this—not looking for anything out of the ordinary.

     I just went to snuggle at my parents home, only to be wrecked by 3 of the most powerful dreams I’ve had to date.

     You’re gonna think I’m crazy—that’s okay. You’re crazy too. So we’re even. *smiles*

     But I had 3 distinct dreams that outlined the way in which my beautiful and grand romance story would begin to play out.

     Everything in these dreams was so incredibly palpable, and yet it surpassed time and space. I never saw the full detailed face of my lover, but if I needed to, I could recognize his spirit amidst a crowd of a million people at this very moment.

     I was his and he was mine.

     I chose him, and he chose me.

     There was this sense of shalom—of peace, of knowing and understanding, a completeness in our interaction, which simply made everything so easy, and effortless. (Not perfect, but absolutely peaceful.)

     You already know that I’m an avid dreamer. And I often have interesting dreams that foreshadow events in my life before I actually step into them. I know. Crazy.

     But such has been my life since I can remember.

     But believe it or not, I’ve never had a concrete dream about my man up until a few weeks ago.

     And I was absolutely blown away.

     Because you see, in the past, I’ve dreamt about certain men coming in and out of my life, but there was never any sense of true permanence in these relationships, but rather, these particular dreams acted as rudders on boat, steering me in the direction of wisdom rather than following down the path of a trap.

     Meanwhile, as I’m trying to understand this series of dreams with God, I’m simply overwhelmed by gratitude and awe.

     I mean.

     When you’ve been single, for as long as I’ve been (Hashtag Nun-Life Vibes), you pretty much lose your crap for a second realizing that although your story may be a little dusty, it’s far from over.

     And as soon as I awoke up from that dream, I felt as though I was already living in and partaking in romance.

     Meaning, I felt as if it had already happened. Like I was living it.  True story.

     It was a new sense of assurance, but not the type that simply came from me trying to hype myself up (“You’re beautiful, Patrice, you’re beautiful-- and don’t worry, someone possibly somewhere wants to marry you…). No this was different.

     It was already existing and living and breathing in the now.

     Like cold water to your face. It was jarring and exhilarating.

photo credit: evan kaufmann

     And now I’m awake.

     Thunder has that effect.

     I don’t feel perfect.

     I don’t feel polished.

     But I do feel beautiful.

     And ready to be kissed.

Wisdom’s Knocking:

18) God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.”

21-22) God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

23-25)  The Man said,
“Finally! Bone of my bone,
    flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
    for she was made from Man.”

Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
    The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

- Genesis 2:18, 21-25